Amidst all the fun and excitement of staying inside, going absolutely nowhere and being refined to the same set of walls everyday, it's easy to forget that you're actually studying for a University degree and you have a pile of assessments that you can't wait to write. Either that, or you might be in the first stage of writing the essay itself - denial.
Wouldn't it be great if you started the essay as soon as it was assigned. Get it out of they way, it's far less stressful that way AND the quality of the work might just be higher. And whilst everybody considers this option to begin with, only a small percentage of people actually choose to do that. They are known as people with their lives very much together with unbelievable levels of self control and motivation.
For the majority, there is a long and painful process to writing an essay.
Stage 1: Denial
At this early and delicate time, it is right to
consider your own mental wellbeing. Considering that the essay deadline is set far into the distant future, why trouble yourself with something you don't need to do? This is stage one, the denial.
Whilst for some there is an initial surge of motivation built upon a wish to be proactive and ahead of the game, this quickly dies away once the magnitude of the task is properly identified. The best solution is then to attempt to forget about its existence, therefore moving on with everyday life in a state of denial that there is any work that could be done. To master this stage, one must achieve zero per cent stress level. This is easier for some than others and often affects the length of time at which one can drag out the denial stage.
Stage Two: Procrastination
As the essay deadline slowly renders into sight, the thought of writing an essay moves from the back of the head, to the front. This triggers the beginning of stage two, procrastination.
At this moment almost anything becomes more attractive, and more important, to do, as opposed to writing the essay. Cleaning your room? That is now a priority. How about those cheques you've been waiting months to cash in? Better do it now. Summer's round the corner? Damn better get on ASOS and fix up the wardrobe. You never know there might even be sales on. A personal, and current, choice of mine for procrastination is writing on this website. Yes, that is what I'm doing right now.
For stage two, a low level of stress is required for it to be most effective. Enough to force you to consider it, but not enough to actually begin the task, subsequently finding every possible alternative.
Stage Three: Writing the Title
This is a huge step on the road to success and signals the intent that you will write this essay. Writing the title is often accompanied with writing the module code and student number. If you have done all three then it's extremely bold of you and you deserve a few days rest.
There is no greater feeling than finally having something written down on that A4 Word document. It looks beautiful with its 'Size 12, Times New Roman, 1.5 line spacing' structure. After sufficiently admiring it, the daunting prospect of research, writing and the genuine use of brain cells begins to set in. This can often trigger a mini-relapse into stage one, delaying progress by a further few hours or days.
Stage Four: "Mini" breaks
At this point, the deadline is fast approaching but it isn't quite the time for desperation. This calls for solid, consistent work whilst remembering to look after yourself with frequent breaks. Consumption of caffeine spikes at this stage as many breaks involve a trip to the kettle.
The primary issue at stage four is the length of those breaks. The willpower, courage and strength required is not to go unmentioned here, as you frequently have to remind yourself that the time for slacking is over. A common favourite for the "mini" breaks stage is a short walk, just to take your mind off things for a little bit. Alternatively, a quick lie down. Rest up you poor soul, you wrote 150 words, you deserve it.
Stage five: Pure Panic
You now have half the essay to write in just a few days, time to press the big red button. Working purely on adrenaline and caffeine, you push the barriers of what you thought was personally possible, sometimes working for hours at a time. The brain works on overload as it tries to fit all the ideas that are now flowing chaotically into the messy structure of the essay. Gradually the word count creeps towards its target, which you would know from checking it every two minutes.
The most productive stage of them all ultimately cumulates in the submission of the essay which is rewarded with the unrivalled feeling of completion and a return to low stress levels. That is of course until you realise another assignment is just waiting to be put through the exact same process all over again.
If anyone has read this and thought 'I can't relate to this', then please tell us your ways and methods because they are rare and I envy your diligence, motivation and self control.
For the majority, whilst these stages come in different time frames and extents depending on the individual, it's a well established and trustworthy system of submitting assignments that somehow rarely fails despite some of its obvious flaws, and it's unlikely to change anytime soon. It's true that old habits die hard.
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